Rainbow Heaven...

How can a mood change so fast in time... from happy to sad to anger to no emotion... Mood swing? Mood swing is it like this? Changes from one to another with no reasons? I don't get it either. Is it a problem with me or? I'm so sick of always being the problem. I tried not to be one... maybe i'm born with it. Sometimes i really hate the world so much...

Said something that i told myself i'll never say it... no matter what... what the hell it came out so unbelievely naturally. I hate it... really... how could i say that... is it a sign? I don't an this to be diffcult for you.... there's no joy or purpose in it... it's not what i intended... why can't i be, do, make what i want to in real life? I feel so xin hui yi leng... it's such a sickening feeling... is it never meant for me to be?

It's like the rainbow... u can see it but never touch it... never find it touching the solid ground... a dream built in air.... gone with the wind... maybe that's why i'm the wind... i'm not tamable... i don't know why... It hurts to hear that from someone that you want her to be happy with you... how can she be happy if she feels hard at times with you? I'm the reasons again... somehow this doesn't feel nice.... can i really be the one?

Where's the rainbow and heaven anyway? Who's the angel? Who can guide me? Is it myself? Just me... again? So coolz... then... i'll do it my way... everythings like past flash back... Maybe i can't really make my wish come true... no matter what i hope you'll be happy... really... may you find the rainbow that i may never find....